The Truth About Overextending
We’ve all been there: pushing through exhaustion, saying “yes” when every fiber of our being screams “no,” and operating from an empty tank. While we often rationalize this as being “Christ-like” or a “helper of all,” the transcript reveals a critical, often painful, truth:
Overextending yourself reinforces a lie you believe about yourself.
When we give from a place of depletion, the cost isn’t just exhaustion; it’s a growing sense of resentment toward the very people we love and serve. It leads to a “crash and burn” cycle, and can result in slowed personal growth or even depression.
Recognizing the Early Warning Signs
Your body and soul are designed to alert you before you hit the wall of total exhaustion. Think of these signals as the check engine lights on your car’s dashboard.
| Sign Category | Examples of Depletion |
| Physical | Tension in the shoulders, injury from constant stress. |
| Emotional | Being short-tempered with people, prone to irritation and annoyance. |
| Spiritual | Feeling dry and disconnected from spiritual practices (e.g., prayer, worship). |
| Relational | Withdrawing, being disconnected, having no energy for anyone else. |
| Internal/Mental | Dread when thinking about something you’ve said yes to; lethargy. |
When these signs appear, our typical unhelpful responses are to push through, minimize the feeling (e.g., “suck it up”), spiritualize it (e.g., “I just need to have more faith”), or, most damagingly, shame ourselves (e.g., “What is wrong with you? Why are you so weak?”)18.
NeuroChange Insight: The way God designed our bodies and souls is not to betray us—they are simply alerting us to something that’s amiss. You need to move past shaming and minimizing to pay attention to the signal and acknowledge the underlying need.
From Self-Shame to Self-Stewardship
The journey from chronic over-giver to balanced steward begins not with greater effort, but with more profound honesty. The hidden cost of overextending—resentment, burnout, slowed growth—is a direct result of operating under the lie that our worth is tied to our output. By ignoring the physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational “check engine lights,” we betray our own design.
It’s time to retire the unhelpful coping mechanisms of pushing through, minimizing, or shaming ourselves. Your exhaustion is not a moral failing; it is a signal. Acknowledging that signal and addressing the underlying needs is the first, crucial step toward sustainable service and wholehearted living.
The Makin Institute for NeuroChange is here to help you move past shame, understand your concerns, and cultivate a life where your giving flows from fullness rather than depletion.